Flea's Mouth Is Some Kind of Monster

RHCP member Flea was shocked this week to find out that the band's new album 'Stadium Arcadium' was leaked onto the internet and available for free download this week. Wow! How did they do it? Free music on the internet? Huh?

Here's Flea's last paragraph of the email he posted to the band's website. I right-clicked and copied it here from the site. Any inherent degradation of the words and pixels from this copying process are due to my meddling and are not the work of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

'yes, it is stealing from us, and that is lame everyone has to live with their own conscience on that one let it be your guide but to take a version that has been defiled sound wise a version in which some idiot has taken our year and a half of soul baring work and pissed all over it that will break our hearts'

I have to ask: what is Flea afraid of? He seems so shocked, in 2006, that the mp3 format sounds so much crummier than CDs...hmmm...maybe that's because he's only been listening to SACDs through B and W speakers and tube amps at his house in the Hollywood Hills all this time?

Lemme guess Flea...
The view is also better in the front row of a concert?
Moet White Star tastes better than PBR?
Geeze, Flea, you really are a fucking genius.

I got no problem with springing for the good shit every now and then, in all sorts of disciplines...but what bothers me is when people start pontificating about how it's so morally wrong to 'steal' shared music files. You don't get the packaging and 'hard possession' of an album when you download it, and as Mr. Flea so eloquently writes in his email, the sound quality is usually shite compared to the real album.

Yes, listening to crappy-quality music sucks, but you know what sucks worse? Not having health insurance. Not having a car. Going to the dentist every eight years or so. Not having any contacts or glasses when your eyes are fucked up.

At least the people who drive Ferraris don't spew bullshit about how it's morally wrong to drive a beater.

Musicians who are against downloading are afraid. What they don't realize is that free MP3 downloads don't circumvent the invisible hand of economics. Danger Mouse and Cee-Lo's song 'Crazy' just became the #1 single in the UK...before official release of the record...on the strength of legal iTunes downloads alone. Now, this song has been making the blog download rounds for months. Hell, you could even get it on myspace or from their own website as an MP3. If you can get something on Gnutella or LimeWire, why pay for the HQ version?

Hmm....why buy a Rolls-Royce when a Ford can get you there? Why smoke Cuban cigars when Basic cigarettes are at every gas station?? Is this shit not obvious yet???

The only people who should worry about downloads are people who make crappy or fair-to-middling music.

Flea, you should be OK here buddy. Don't worry...nobody's snatching any silver spoons from your table. Your music is good, and the stuff you're doing in Silverlake with the Conservatory is grand. Just don't say all of us poor motherfuckers are morally 'wrong' about some shit, mmmkay?

Some people came to Indio to see a wide variety of acts. Then there was this dude. 

I can't even waste efficiency points
making up an analogy or quip for this-

unless you're a hairstylist or something,
Madonna really sucks live.

She jumped on the bill late and for one reason or another (probably contractual constraints) got put in the dance tent. My friend who drove me to the show loves Madonna, so I reluctantly missed Mogwai and accompanied her over there. As we settled in the Dance Tent and waited on Madonna, I couldn't help but notice that next to us were a couple of girls who looked like Barbie dolls from thirty yards. What happened next was a window into an interesting sociological phenomenon...

I saw a mild-mannered sorority girl completely change her personality over the course of an hour.

It was nuts.
When we first got to the tent Blonde Girl #1 was happy and kept smiling at her friends and to anyone who would look at her.
She began TXTing and calling other people she knew in order to tell them of her good fortune. Then things got really crowded in the tent. Insanely loud sighs and whimpering noises commenced.

The guys in front of us seemed to only exist for two reasons:

1) to go to the gym

and

2) curate/maintain their own artistic facial hair and sideburn permutations.

They seemed to be more than friends.

Unfortunately for Sorority Sue, Travis kept on bumping his hindquarters into her chest area.
It angered her even more that this buff guy was not doing this to attract her attention, but instead in efforts to wildly explain his thoughts to his friend Steven...in conditions that were increasingly crowded, sweaty, and uncomfortable. Forty-five minutes went by like this.

Then her face got red. She seemed to get quiet.

Suddenly she roared like a little pink tiger and unleashed three rabbit punches to the back of Travis' head. No shit.

Travis scrunched up his face and turned his head around. He would have probably turned more than his face, but everyone in a half-mile radius was completely surrounded by other people and could not move.

Sorority Sue then grabbed her friend's hand and launched herself into the crowd, moving in the opposite direction of the stage. Her voice hung in the air longer than her bodily presence. We all watched her leave the crowded area...not like a fish swimming upstream, but like a tornado towing a girl in a Juicy Couture tank top.

My arm was red from her nails.

Travis rubbed his head for a sec and turned back around.
It was then that I knew I witnessed what Sun Tzu spoke of in The Art Of War:
"Humble words and increased preparations are signs that the enemy is about to advance" while "Violent language and driving forward, as if to the attack, resigns that he will retreat."

(or...)

It takes more than three punches to drop a gay guy waiting for a Madonna show.

Oh yeah, the show was kinda wack.
She came out thirty minutes late for an hourlong set and dropped maybe four songs.
They all sounded the same. People who already worship her were drooling at the fact that she looked really skinny and played some open chords on a Les Paul.
Using those standards, I must be a badass when I play bad versions of Black Keys songs on my Tele in my bedroom between Crim Law and Torts classes.

I must rule!
Sike.

scoring points on the jumbotron... 

Another Surprise

I've been drinking Gatorade since lacing up size 6 Air Jordans in YMCA basketball games, but remember when they came out with the blue-colored kind? It was a revelation. They started putting the Great White Sharks in Shark Bites fruit snacks around the same time...it was like everything I already liked was suddenly becoming even cooler.

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs are like that, only you can't buy the Yeah Yeah Yeahs at the gas station.

And that suxxx because just like those Quick-Stop staples in the early 90s, Karen O and the crew are on the rise. They took the ball and ran with it like MJ in those old commercials at the Polo Fields in Indio on Sunday.

Scoop 'Show Your Bones,' their latest MVP effort...if you can't get near them in person over the next few months to experience the radness.

clap your hands, stomp your feet... 

the genius at work. 

Flyin' Monkeys Rock Old School Vans

Gnarls Barkley is amazing.

Their live bandy band consisted of the Nine Inch Nails co-founding drummer, Beck's bass player, the great Holly Palmer singing back-up and Wizard of Oz costumes. After a secret tune-up at the Roxy on Thursday, they lit the tent on fire in Indio on Sunday. For those unable to be in the So Cal area, these guys will be playing a few more festivals this summer as their single attacks US airwaves.

Forced to choose. 

Sunday Funday

Rode into Indio with the great Anna G.
It was extremely hot out- so much so that it made me go all Huck Finn with my jeans.

Taught her how to get tickets from the numerous amount of people walking in the gates with extras at little or no cost to yourself. Did I mention that it was hot? As soon as I scored a free ticket I bought four lukewarm waters and killed them. I paid with a $20 bill and got back some ones in change. A BBQ plate and a drink set you back $12. You could bring photographic film in the gates but not bottled water. I saw two girls feint over the course of the day.

First band I saw was Minus The Bear. They sounded very generic; not bad but not great.

Walked around to the various stages looking for something interesting.

Got introduced to Metric- cool. Their female leader was ultra-crunk and the band looked like they were playing for food money. Even in my incessant reading, listening and internerding of music, I had never heard of these guys. I could see this band opening for the Talking Heads back in the day. Found out later that Emily Haines, the frontwoman I spoke of earlier is the lady from Broken Social Scene. Metric is the new Blondie like the Futureheads are the new Gang of Four.

Then saw a DJ named Kaskade in the dance tent. Good beats. The cool shade of the tent mixed with the energy of the odd bits of Euros wylin' over this guy revived me. Being an amazing house DJ in the states must be like being a great bartender in Salt Lake City. I bet this guy pulls tail, drinks Cris, and commands 30-Euro ticket prices in 6 or 7 countries that are about the size of Texas...

Ate the aforementioned expensive BBQ, then rolled over to see Jamie Lidell. Wow. Another discovery for me. Stage presence and showmanship reminded me of James Brown, while his vocal delivery was all Stevie Wonder. He fiddled with knobs and samplers all while working the mic, creating his beats on the spot with vocal loops. Makes sense that he used to hang with Four Tet. I'm getting his stuff as soon as I can.

Taken as the band walks on stage. 

Kele got a new guitar. 

Hott In Herre

Sunday Coachella Report-

Made moves over to the #2 stage to get up close for Bloc Party. A small gap in the tarp covering the backstage area allowed me a good view of the stage entrance ramp. Not even the VIPs on the left side of stage could see this area.

Right before the show started, looking through this opening, I got to see the guys from the band get together for a preshow group hug. They looked like pro athletes gearing up for tipoff or kickoff...and seemed very cohesive and happy with each other.

Then they went onstage and killed it. Brodawgs from the SGV and OC were crowd surfing, Kele climbed the speaker stack, and Matt showed us why the band waited years before picking up a drummer. Devil-horn hand signals were spotted in the crowd for the first time.

They gave us 'Like Eating Glass,' 'Banquet,' and a couple new songs like 'Uniform.'